DON'T BE LAZY WITH THE PLEASURE OF SIN

   Angela was a thespian girl who looked like a short Janis Joplin and lived with her aunt and uncle, their newborn baby, and at least fifteen cats. Cat hair was everywhere, a carpeted catwalk went around the top of the living room, and they built a separate chicken-coop style structure in the backyard connected by a tunnel for the cat shithouse. I never learned what happened to Angela’s parents, but they were out of the picture and her aunt was not thrilled with the scenario and had a short fuse.  

   Angela was fifteen and was dating a strange older guy named Roy who looked liked Lux Interior from The Cramps. Tall and skinny with sunken cheeks and black hair. On weekends they would go full leather-goth, with frankenstein boots and Angela leading Roy around with a dog collar and chain. They were both obsessed with John Waters and lived in one of his movies in their minds. I was shocked to find out Roy was in the Navy, stationed at the Naval Training Center in town, leading a double life with this young girl. 

   When not dolled-up to go out with Roy, Angela looked more like a free-spirit hippie and my mom liked her. I explained her bad living situation and that she constantly had to walk on eggshells around her aunt, and my mom invited Angela to live with us. There seemed to be a fixed amount of money coming from a government source which paid for Angela’s room and board, which helped out my mom, and Angela was happier at our house. I had mixed feelings about constantly having a friend wanting to socialize at my own house, but we learned some boundaries, watched a lot of Twin Peaks, and mostly had a good time.

One day I came home from school, checked the mailbox, and there was a letter to Angela with stickers all over it, and I guess I was excited for her because I loved getting mail. I went inside and went straight to her room to give her the letter, knocked on her door and she said “What?”, opened the door and she was in flagrante delicto with Roy, both wearing dog collars chained together and listening to Nitzer Ebb. I never told about this incident, but Angela was eventually sent back to live with her crazy aunt.

Epilogue: Angela and Roy are still together to this day and live in Sarasota with their kids.