I'M HOT, STICKY SWEET

   I would skate to school in 8th grade with this kid Justin. Sometimes we’d get together after school and skate some more, or go over to his house and watch MTV. He was a latchkey kid like me, and would take a hide-a-key from an awning to open the door. He was always waiting for Def Leppard to come on MTV and was bummed if they didn’t, and always made me leave the house before his mom got home. One time I didn’t spot him after school but stopped by his house anyway. He wasn’t there, so I decided I’d freak him out and let myself in and be sitting on his couch when he got home. I was sitting there drinking a coke and watching videos when he got home and he was not psyched. He basically kicked me out and the next day at school told me I was done going over there. I was like “poor me” and was generally snotty about it.  

   I probably shouldn’t tell this, but later that week I went over there when  no one was home and looked for the key again. It was there. I let myself in and thought about stealing one of his Def Leppard tapes. Then I remembered a prank I saw in a book, went in his kitchen cupboard and found some chicken bouillon cubes, when in the bathroom, unscrewed the shower head, crammed a bunch of bouillon cubes in there, and screwed it back on. Then I got the hell out of there. I heard his mom had a chicken soup shower that night, blamed him for it, and grounded him for the weekend.